Thursday, May 7, 2015

So what is our story?

In just over three years my husband and I have gone through many months of trying to get pregnant on our own, 12 rounds of fertility treatments and suffered four pregnancy losses. Our first loss was at 12 weeks, second at 6 weeks, third at 14 weeks and fourth was an ectopic rupture at 12 weeks. I have had more doctors appointments and ultrasounds than I can count. I have had both a saline infusion ultrasound and a hysterosalpingogram. I have had 5 D&C/hysteroscopy procedures. And I have had major abdominal surgery to repair my ruptured uterus and save my life. 

I have also cried more tears than I thought possible. I have been over-the-moon excited. I have screamed and yelled. I have jumped for joy. I have questioned so many things. I have been angry, sad, confused, frustrated, excited, elated, anxious, stressed, and terrified. 

This journey has been the textbook definition of an emotional roller coaster. 

I have also learned so much. About myself, about my husband, about infertility and loss. I have learned that I can handle so much more than I ever thought I could. I have made new friends and created an amazing support system. 

It is a journey we never wanted to take and one we would never wish on anyone. It has forever changed us. 

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